Matt Nathanson

"It's hard to change the way you loose if you think you've never won."

THE ICK

Sometimes i just think that i just need a pick me up.

thats today-the sometimes i mean.

right now i should be doing college english homework and practicing problems for ap chem.

and doing things like using capital letters.

but today,

today i dont feel like it.

today i miss my boys, and today i want someone to make me soup.

i also want a great big hug today.

but i will feel better later, i mean who likes cleaning their room right??

but idk i hate the ick and today i caught the ick.

but the sun will come out tomorrow:)

ok pumpkin

I bought a pumpkin shirt today.

Which I am more pleased with than words can say!!!

And as I said on facebook, I enjoy this display of my inner age.

Because we all know that on the inside am a combination of an awed toddler and a wise old woman.

My purchases today also reflect my oldness as well since along with the shirt I bought cat food for Chloe and Rusty-my beautiful cats.

:) So I'm an old cat lady and a 17 year old girl, as well as a 5 year old boy- only a boy cause of how much I love action cartoons.

I think that everyone should have (I don't wanna say multipul personalities) facets of their personalities.

For instance I know several girls who are great at being 17 but not so great at college English because they haven't developed a facet of themselves past high school.

I also know an old woman who is great at being a grandmother but she was never a good mother because she never cultivated that part of her personality.

I don't know it's just what I was thinkin about tonight.

Cynicism

I'm definately not a cynic.

I beleive in happy endings too much to be one.

I may masquarade around as a realist also but deep down I am secretly just a romantic.

I also honestly believe that most other people on our lovely home planet are romantics too.

Doesn't everyone want to find their hero/heroine or at least be someone's hero/heroine?

Deep down everyones little imperfections stem from the desire to be loved.

Most of us express this desire in turn for the desire of a significant other.

So here is my point: everyone wants to be loved and this makes them romantics.

Ok let's go over a few sterio-types and we will see if this is a true prognosis on the whole.

Emo-kids

Definition: young people who generally seem serious and reserved. They also tend to wear tight pants and lots of make-up.

Ok this one is obvious!!!! they are "emotional" because they feel like no one loves them!!!!

Preppy-kids

Definition: young people who are generally "well dressed"-the definition of well dressed being that they wear mostly big

name brand clothing.- These people generally come from suburbian areas and may or may not mingle with other stereo-types.

This one is pretty easy too these kids are also stereo-typed as snobby. This is because many are. They are this way because

they are self concious, and they are this way because they fear that if they do not look perfect then no one will love them .

"Gangsters"

Definition: a) someone in a gang

b) someone who has a characteristically urban style, and often speaks in slang vanacular.

I have no comment on the type a "gangsters"( in fact i disagree with the whole gangster title but hey i diodn't pick it) however,

the type b I have some say. My opinion is that they act tough because they have either been hurt before and are thus protecting

themseves or they are expected to act this way by friends ect. So they also act/dress the way they do because they fear

either being hurt or being unloved.

Dorks

Definition: Someone who is socially awkward, and also shows a significant interest in academics.

There are two types of dorks as well.

1) those that accept their dorkiness-I happen to fall into this category although I don't think I'm that socially awkward

2) those who are blissfully unaware of their nerdiness.

The type 1 dorks generally have nothing to hide although they have issues with love as well. Type 2 is much worse. These tend to think that they belong to another type and

therefore have multipul problems in the area of being unloved.

I could go on all day about why every stereo-typical group has basic issue with self acceptance and fear of rejection, but I

think you get the point.

Everyone wants to be loved.

Yes it's an cheesy, outdated concept but how much more true could it be??

And how much more denied and concealed could it be??

More than anything else it seems everyone has the common problem of not wanting the world to know that they require

love.

I think it's part of our make-up as humans to be romantics.

Or maybe its just me :)

Singality

For me singality (yes John I know it's not really a word) is a way of life.

Although I didn't really get to choose so far it's how my life seems to role.

It's sort of like mono if you think about it.

Somehow you caught it sometimes from being skanky and sometimes not so much and it's something that sticks with you for a while and adjusts your life around it.

Movies are more complicated because you actually have to find people to go with you.

Then you have to make sure they are all 17-with id because there is no honor system in the movie theater as i found out last week- cause you are probably going to see something funny and it's probably going to be rated r.

There are endless of these senarios really.

So embrace the singality!!!

Because you are only single once... nope thats not true.

Ummm you only live once... unless you are one of those reincarnation religions.

You are only young once... unless you get plastic surgery.

Hahahaha well you get my drift.

wow

today it took me several hours to come up with one sentance

i need a nap obviously

:)

live, love, laugh, cheese

Sometimes I feel like its so hard to say something true about myself or this world without sounding cliche.

That's one thing about cheesy phrases or quotes or ideas, they got that way because they are generally true or appealing to most of us.

For instance that phrase the grass is always greener on the other side.

We have all heard it a million times, seen at least ten sitcoms or something illustrating the point, but do we get the concept??

I don't know about you but I still haven't internalized it, because I still look at someone who has something I don't- lets say a class for instance- I think that their class is better than mine simply because well i haven't experienced it to know that it's just as crappy as mine.

So I like my world sprinkled with cheese because if you deny cheese you are denying truth.