Jason Cooley I Don't Hate You

So today I realized that I am a world class meanie.

You wanna know why?

Because once I have someone I don't want them anymore.

Not that anyone ever really has another person, but I think you know what I mean.

Anyways, that isn't the only reason I'm mean I also just expect so much from others!

Like if anyone is mad at me for any reason how dare they be mad? Or if I know it is my fault I still think well they have no right they did this to piss me off before so it's not like they are perfect!

As far as guys go I want them to be lovey but then if they are too mushy I'm like be a man!!

I have no idea what's wrong with me! hahaha

Oh well it's just who I am I guess :)

(oh and J this had absolutely nothing to do with you fyi I'm just saying I dont hate you)

Pretty Pretty Princess

i am a pretty pretty princess!!

haha well at least thats how i feel this week!

it has been a great week!

it makes me anxious for the end of the year but anxious for it to never ever come.

im terrified of staying here and terrified to go!!

but this has been a great week! senior group pics and fun new classes!

fun new boys and unfun new girl drama

i just love it for now and it all makes me feel like a little princess with little prince and princess friends in a castle of high school and a kingdom of middletown!!!

:)

being nice
studying
not beating people up
cleaning my room
doing my chores
not saying the f word(im starting with the big ones and working my way down)
not staying angry(and spelling angry the right way)
not procrastinating
not lying to get out of things
taking responsibility
these are all the things that im trying to get better at. :) not cause its a newish year but because i think i should.
so yeah

Matt Nathanson

"It's hard to change the way you loose if you think you've never won."

THE ICK

Sometimes i just think that i just need a pick me up.

thats today-the sometimes i mean.

right now i should be doing college english homework and practicing problems for ap chem.

and doing things like using capital letters.

but today,

today i dont feel like it.

today i miss my boys, and today i want someone to make me soup.

i also want a great big hug today.

but i will feel better later, i mean who likes cleaning their room right??

but idk i hate the ick and today i caught the ick.

but the sun will come out tomorrow:)

ok pumpkin

I bought a pumpkin shirt today.

Which I am more pleased with than words can say!!!

And as I said on facebook, I enjoy this display of my inner age.

Because we all know that on the inside am a combination of an awed toddler and a wise old woman.

My purchases today also reflect my oldness as well since along with the shirt I bought cat food for Chloe and Rusty-my beautiful cats.

:) So I'm an old cat lady and a 17 year old girl, as well as a 5 year old boy- only a boy cause of how much I love action cartoons.

I think that everyone should have (I don't wanna say multipul personalities) facets of their personalities.

For instance I know several girls who are great at being 17 but not so great at college English because they haven't developed a facet of themselves past high school.

I also know an old woman who is great at being a grandmother but she was never a good mother because she never cultivated that part of her personality.

I don't know it's just what I was thinkin about tonight.

Cynicism

I'm definately not a cynic.

I beleive in happy endings too much to be one.

I may masquarade around as a realist also but deep down I am secretly just a romantic.

I also honestly believe that most other people on our lovely home planet are romantics too.

Doesn't everyone want to find their hero/heroine or at least be someone's hero/heroine?

Deep down everyones little imperfections stem from the desire to be loved.

Most of us express this desire in turn for the desire of a significant other.

So here is my point: everyone wants to be loved and this makes them romantics.

Ok let's go over a few sterio-types and we will see if this is a true prognosis on the whole.

Emo-kids

Definition: young people who generally seem serious and reserved. They also tend to wear tight pants and lots of make-up.

Ok this one is obvious!!!! they are "emotional" because they feel like no one loves them!!!!

Preppy-kids

Definition: young people who are generally "well dressed"-the definition of well dressed being that they wear mostly big

name brand clothing.- These people generally come from suburbian areas and may or may not mingle with other stereo-types.

This one is pretty easy too these kids are also stereo-typed as snobby. This is because many are. They are this way because

they are self concious, and they are this way because they fear that if they do not look perfect then no one will love them .

"Gangsters"

Definition: a) someone in a gang

b) someone who has a characteristically urban style, and often speaks in slang vanacular.

I have no comment on the type a "gangsters"( in fact i disagree with the whole gangster title but hey i diodn't pick it) however,

the type b I have some say. My opinion is that they act tough because they have either been hurt before and are thus protecting

themseves or they are expected to act this way by friends ect. So they also act/dress the way they do because they fear

either being hurt or being unloved.

Dorks

Definition: Someone who is socially awkward, and also shows a significant interest in academics.

There are two types of dorks as well.

1) those that accept their dorkiness-I happen to fall into this category although I don't think I'm that socially awkward

2) those who are blissfully unaware of their nerdiness.

The type 1 dorks generally have nothing to hide although they have issues with love as well. Type 2 is much worse. These tend to think that they belong to another type and

therefore have multipul problems in the area of being unloved.

I could go on all day about why every stereo-typical group has basic issue with self acceptance and fear of rejection, but I

think you get the point.

Everyone wants to be loved.

Yes it's an cheesy, outdated concept but how much more true could it be??

And how much more denied and concealed could it be??

More than anything else it seems everyone has the common problem of not wanting the world to know that they require

love.

I think it's part of our make-up as humans to be romantics.

Or maybe its just me :)