who i am hates who i've been :)

I'm learning that what i have done in my life isnt who i am.

everyday is a fresh start cause God only sees the good stuff

i dont have to be who i have been, and i dont HAVE to be who i will be that part is my choice

i myself am a very illusive concept as who i am is always changing

some people spend years discovering who they are

but how could anyone know themselves exactly since you arent who you were yesterday?

if you keep searching for yourself all you really can be doing is looking at who you were.

who you are is what you are DOING

if you are trying to figure it out then you aren't doing ANYTHING

therefore you aren't being you.

deals

i bought most of my dorm room stuff today for a grand total of $137 thank you very much :)

goodbye childhood :'( i will miss you dearly

spy!

so i finished Snakehead today

it was about a teenage spy

i was in kohls and thinking about the closest thing to me that could be used as a weapon...

i need to stop reading these books..

but i wont :) no worries everyone will just have to deal with the new and improved spy version of me

my week

so i have become a regular house wife just without the wife part.

i plan meals and cook, i clean, i rearrange my house, i do laundry, i paint random home furnishings, and i stay home all day.

i mean the house looks great, and everyone loves coming home to something other than frozen pizza, but yet i wonder if there is something more i should be doing?

just signed up for orientation and my placement test. . . this whole thing is creepy!

im not a college student I'm just a child!!

:)

anyways i love my life

Part II

malik and i also talked about blogging about what God is doing in our lives.

right now I'm really not sure what He is doing.

I'm kinda scared about college and i think He knows that.

He also keeps showing me my lack of faith, and my shortcomings.

but then reminding me like the song says that His grace is enough.

Usually though I struggle with not being good enough, but He is going to help me get over that.

i really want to what God wants i just feel a lil lost sometimes :)

Part I

So malik and i started our very exclusive book club! so far we have several books we have already both read and its all very exciting!!

right now im reading MAX

which is in the Maximum Ride series!!

There are several main characters that all happen to have avian DNA grafted onto their human DNA in order to give them wings and several other awesome power type thingies.

Max: protaginist, super fast flier, flock leader

Fang: most BADASS side-kick ever, in love w/Max(oh max is a girl AND she is in love w/Fang), ability to blend in w/ and surroundings

Iggy: blind, has the ability to feel colors, pyrotechnics genius

Gasman: Iggy's right hang man, pyro genius as well, ability to imitate w/100% accuracy any sound, Angel's brother

Nudge: talker, can hack any computer, and draws metalic objects to her, super girly, actually pretty normal

Angel: FREAK, mind reader, mind manipulator, 6 years old, communicates w/ fish, can breathe under water

Erasers: flock hunters

In any case I would have to say Fang, and nudge are my favorites.

See fang has tons of power and could really override max at anytime, but he supports her instead.He is also dark and mysterious, but dependable at the same time. He is patient with the rest of the flock even when you know he is thinking about strangling them.

Nudge is just so normal, yet at the same time she is compassionate, and wants a family and acceptance so badly which is in the heart of every person. plus she is totally bad ass for such a kid.

when you take a look at the flock altogether it represents the chalanges of adolescence.

Max is the leader, maternal or paternal part of us that wants to protect others. she also has no idea what she wants and is constantly conflicted.

fang is the strong silent part of us that supports our friends and is willing to take risks if it means protecting them.

Iggy represents the part of us that is missing something. He is missing his sight yet his family of friends surrounds him to fill in where he is lacking.

Gasman represents the part of us that wants to mimik others and fit in, but he also represents the completion of Iggy, and the part of us that is willing to fill in the space in others where they are gaping.

Nudge is the compelling part of us that draws others in, and yearns for love above all else.

Angel represents the dangerously powerful part of us. The part that can manipulate others, and has emmense power and danger.

so essentially James Patterson is a genius and I love him dearly